Phobias: Coitophobia

Many phobias are sad and can mean years of misery for countless thousands of sufferers. Inevitably, this suffering by a phobic can also affect the lives of others, i.e. our nearest and dearest, friends and colleagues.

None more so that Coitophobia – the fear of intercourse. This can affect males and females alike and will usually stem from the earlier years of a person’s life. Obviously one can imagine a brutal rape which could have a long-term effect upon a victim’s viewing of intercourse, as painful memories can flood back when a sufferer endeavours to become intimate with an intended partner. Also, a phobic can be initiated by a dread of contacting a disease, i.e. Aids etc.

However, there are other emotional problems engendered. Take Martin (fictitious name) as an example. He had been an eligible bachelor and a social light around Swansea for many years, until the dreaded word Aids came into his life. At first he believed that he might be infected, and he came to me with high fears for his life. I promptly sent him off to his GP for tests and he came back really relieved that he had the all clear. Off he went to get on with the rest of his life, aware that he had to be careful when being in an intimate situation.

Five years passed and he telephoned me again in great distress to ask for my help, as he felt so terrified as his earlier anxiety had now turned into a phobia and he was unable to have intercourse due to severe panic setting in whenever he became close to wishing for sex. He had met a wonderful lady with whom he wished to marry, but the realisation that he would obviously have to consummate the marriage (and he did wish to have children) stopped him from taking the plunge. Eventually, his girlfriend was at her wit’s end as she believed that he was not committed to the relationship. Martin was too embarrassed to tell her the truth, so the relationship was folding up.

First I had to ask him to open up and I offered for them both to come to my consulting room and I would assist in opening the lines of communication so that Mary (fictitious name) could understand the fears that Martin had. This she quickly took onboard and I told them both that I believed Martin had an 80 per cent chance of success to get rid of the Coitophobia. Mary said that she would give it six months to see how things progressed.

Then using Hypnotherapy, I allayed Martin’s fear of copulation and he gradually developed a confidence in the knowledge that all would be safe and well between Mary and himself.

The wonderful thing about Hypnotherapy is that no drugs are administered and there are no negative side effects.

So using hypnosis we gained access to Marin’s subconscious mind and by utilising some practical strategies, a “safe” place could be found where Martin could maintain health of mind and body at all times, particularly at times of lovemaking. Therefore, we asked Mary if she would take an Aids test to which she readily agreed.